


Something Holy

by vodkasam



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Reunion, Stanford, stanford!sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:34:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1411777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vodkasam/pseuds/vodkasam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the worst in the beginning. Sam would never admit to tearful, sleepless nights, but they came. He wondered how Dean was doing, if he even missed him at all. </p><p>Sam shifted so he could lie down, curled up in a ball. Before he could stop himself, he was dialing Dean’s old number.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Holy

Sam’s roommate was out. That’s the reason Sam kept giving himself to explain why he was losing his own mind. When his roommate came back, he’d be fine again, just like he always was. But right then, he was alone, and he could feel himself collapsing in like he’d avoided doing for so long.

The heating and air on his hall were broken that week, and that had to be part of his weirdness too, right? His toes felt like ice cubes, even tucked under him. He wanted to get a pair of socks, but he was too comfortable in his bed to get up. He was sitting pressed into the corner, huddled under a blanket. His hands were shaking a little, and his hair was wet, and that was all making him feel like he was losing it.

He must have been the only kid at Stanford that wasn’t on meds – maybe if he had those, he wouldn’t have felt like this, wouldn’t have gotten like this every time he was left alone a little bit too long. He wanted a dog to keep him company, wanted a girl to talk to, wanted his roommate to mess around with, wanted… No.

He couldn’t.

For the millionth time since he’d gotten to school, he found himself staring at his phone, willing it to ring even though he had gone out of his way to make sure Dean couldn’t find his number. He’d used a new alias this time, one that had nothing to do with any kind of rock band at all. He’d just made something up.

His toes were still freezing.

He shifted a little, trying to force hid body to warm up, but it just wasn’t happening. Damn the cold. 

He’d done all the homework he’d put on his plate for the night, and honestly, he should probably have gone for a run or made some food, done anything to get his mind out of the bad place where it settled. But he didn’t do any of those things; instead, he opted for staring at his phone, tired and sad and lonely, and, if he was honest with himself, desperate to hear his brother’s voice.

It was Sam’s second year. He’d somehow gotten through three semesters and a summer without Dean. That’s two Christmas breaks with nowhere to go, holed up in a motel room alone while his friends filled their Facebooks with pictures of their family and friends from home. He was happy for them, he really was, but he missed his brother. There wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t cross Sam’s mind.

It was the worst in the beginning. Sam would never admit to tearful, sleepless nights, but they came. He wondered how Dean was doing, if he even missed him at all. 

Sam shifted so he could lie down, curled up in a ball. Before he could stop himself, he was dialing Dean’s old number. He listened to ring after ring, and then it hit voicemail, but it wasn’t Dean’s voice. Not anymore.

Sam angrily threw the phone to the end of his bed, a bubble of sobs bursting out of him. He reigned it back in quickly, wiping his cheeks hard and burying his face in his arms. He should have known better than to call, he was so stupid –

His phone started vibrating on the bed. He figured it was his roommate, but he sat up to pick it up anyway. He flipped it open without looking at it.

“Hello?”

There was a pause. Sam was about to speak again, but then the most wonderful voice reached Sam’s ears.

“…Sammy?”

“Dean! It’s you?”

“Sammy, oh god… It’s me, Sam. It’s me.”

"It wasn't your voice on the machine."

"Nah, didn't want people tracking me. It started ringing in the glove compartment, so I called back."

Sam found himself choking up again, but out of happiness this time. Relief. “I miss you!” he exclaimed before he could stop himself. 

“I miss you, too, buddy,” Dean said, and Sam could hear the smile in his brother’s voice.

“No, I really – oh, my god, Dean, I miss you every day. I think about you all the time and I just – I had to talk to you, I couldn’t wait anymore.”

“I’ve been callin’, man,” Dean admitted. “I knew you’d cut me off, but I kept hoping you’d left a trail or a clue, something. But there was nothing. You did good, kid.” 

“I’m sorry. I knew I couldn’t do it if I knew I could get in contact with you. I’ve had to convince myself not to drop everything and start driving cross-country looking for you.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Dean said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to see you, but I’m proud of you for getting out.” 

Sam was pretty sure that Dean actually meant it. There’s a pause. 

“So, what’s goin’ on?” Dean asked. “You okay?”

He looked down at his hands. He swallowed, not wanting to ask the question on his mind, but he couldn’t resist. “Where, um… where are you?”

“Davis, actually, workin’ a case. Not far. Why?” The hope in Dean’s voice couldn’t be disguised.

“Can you come?” Sam asked quietly. He was almost ashamed, but he wanted to see his brother more than he’d wanted anything in a long time. “Please?”

“Sammy,” Dean murmured. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Sam said firmly, nodding. “I need to see you, I can’t – I just need to. I need you.”

“Okay,” Dean grinned. “I’m leaving right now.”

Over the line, Sam heard the jingle of the Impala’s keys, and he was hit immediately with an overwhelming wave of homesickness. This was real. Dean was coming here. This was really happening. He was going to see Dean again. A wide smile bloomed on Sam’s face.

They hung up with a promise from Dean to call when he got close. A moment later, a text from the same number came to Sam’s phone. “Tell me if u change ur mind.” 

About an hour into the wait, Sam’s stomach started churning. Had he made a smart decision or fallen for an impulse? He was tired of wrestling with himself, so he just quit. Dean was coming – Sam wouldn’t ask him to turn back after he’d come this far. 

The next forty-five minutes passed more quickly. Sam pulled up The Office on Netflix to kill time, and it worked. Soon enough, Dean was calling him again. Sam’s lips cracked into a smile, and he took a moment to savor the number that flashed on his screen, the reason his phone was vibrating. Sam tugged sweats up over his hips, pulled a jacket on, and then set out to find his brother. 

Sam had always been able to give good directions, and he’d kept up with that in college. Dean was able to park where Sam instructed, but once he got out of the car, things got a little difficult. Dean was making up names for all the buildings based on his descriptions of them, which was confusing but definitely funny. He had no idea where Dean had gone until he thought he heard Dean’s words coming from somewhere other than the phone in his hand.

Sam rushed around a corner, and Dean stopped walking. Dean slowly took the phone away from his ear, but he didn’t close it. They just stood there for a few seconds, taking each other in. 

“Dean!” Sam finally cried, coming fully to his senses.

“Come here,” Dean said, opening his arms with a grin. 

The brothers rushed towards each other and crashed hard into each other. Dean had to take a few quick steps backward to compensate for Sam’s ever-growing body nearly knocking him off balance. It was all fists and fingers then, grabbing at each other’s necks and collars and jackets. 

Sam was so happy that he couldn’t even speak. He knew he hadn’t made a mistake in asking Dean to find him. All the waiting he’d done, all the pain he’d endured was worth it for the feeling of that moment. 

“I’m here,” Dean murmured, trying to pull Sam even closer. 

It was as if the world had stilled – the wind ceased, and even the bugs and streetlights stopped chirping and buzzing. There was something holy then, and the entire earth went quiet. The only sounds left were the voices of the two brothers, reunited at last.


End file.
